quick clicks

preconception articles

preconception q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

My Turn Again

Life After Stillbirth and Miscarriage

By Jessica Frank

I couldn't believe it! I might be pregnant again. After a horrendous, devastating stillbirth at 38 weeks, I was possibly pregnant again. I took an EPT test two days before my period was due – hopeful, but ready to be disappointed again. I had failed the pregnancy test three times already, why should this month have been any different? But maybe, just maybe it was.

I took a flashlight into the bathroom and put it on "spotlight" and shone it on the stick to make sure that I wasn't imagining what I saw. It was a shadow of a line, but it was in fact a line. A very light one, almost so light that you think you are imagining things. But I'm a trained EPT expert now (they should considering hiring me), and I am sure that I saw something. My heart jumped into my throat and I quickly dialed a friend.

LeeAnn from Colorado, was a friend in tragedy. We'd both experienced stillbirths on the same day. Hers was at 35 weeks, mine was at 38 weeks. We had met in a grief site and had become fast friends. She was now 13 weeks pregnant. She was as excited as I was when I made the call. But I carefully explained to her about the shadow and told her I'd retest tomorrow – if I could wait that long.

Well I did manage to wait, after a night filled with wonderful dreams for the first time in six months. I dreamt of baby carriages and swings and even rejoiced in the idea of dirty diapers. It was finally going to be my turn up at bat again.

I got up early, so early that the only

Want to see more?

• You've Had a Miscarriage: What Now?
• Pregnancy After Miscarriage: The Ups and Downs of Trying Again
• Life after Miscarriage: Preparing for a Healthy Pregnancy
• Talk about it!