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Surviving Family Celebrations
Holiday Gatherings and Infertility
By Michele St. Martin
Casey Jacob recognizes that at certain times during holiday celebrations, the stress may feel overwhelming. "Let 
people know that you may leave early, and work out signals in advance with your partner that let each other know when you're feeling overwhelmed and need to be bailed out," she says. Another suggestion is that couples take "legitimate breathers," such as checking on the turkey, playing basketball with teenagers in the driveway or walking the dog.
For Suzy, the stress came not during the family celebration, but after a particularly hectic and child-centered Thanksgiving. "When my husband and I left and got in our car, the silence was deafening," she says. "It was such a blow to go home to a dark, cold, empty house. I wanted so much to have that much fun and activity in my house."
Casey Jacob emphasizes that couples who rehearse and prepare for how they'll handle such situations tend to cope better with the stresses that the holidays bring. "You know it will be tough," she says. As a result, it's important to have one final trick up your sleeve. Casey Jacob suggests that couples participate in life as it is now, rather than putting it on hold until they have children. This could include planning something special for afterwards that isn't about holidays, family and children. Having something special to look forward to in January can help you cope during the holidays and can help you put the right positive spin on the coming New Year.
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