Laura of Kissimmee, Fla., has been trying to have a baby since she was married nearly 7 years ago. "I get really depressed because Christmas is such a special holiday, and being brought up in a big family, I just assumed I would have one too," she says. "It has made me feel like less of a woman because I am the oldest of all my cousins and the only one without children ... It is very hard; the holidays are a time for togetherness and with that comes what every woman dreams of: a family of her own to share things with and a legacy to leave behind."

Suzy of Missoula, Mont., agrees. "To me, holidays are all about establishing family traditions," she says. "As an infertile couple, we see year after year go by doing things that are half what his family did, half what my family did and not really feeling part of either. We want so much to be able to start creating our own traditions that we or our kids make up along the way. It's what makes holidays special."

Those with children, or who have no difficulty having them, sometimes have a hard time understanding how difficult family holidays can be when someone is struggling with infertility. Rhonda of Mt. Gilead, Ohio, is not looking forward to family holiday gatherings, particularly because a close cousin is pregnant and due in the spring. "This is especially difficult because we are always being compared," she says. "Whenever the family is together, it is difficult to hear questions of 'When are you going to have a baby? Michelle is having one.'" Most of Rhonda's family does not know that she and her husband are having difficulty conceiving, and she doesn't feel supported by those who do know.

Want to see more?

• All I Want for Christmas: Coping With Infertility During the Holidays
• Truth Be Told: Uncovering Common Infertility Myths
• Taking It Easy (When Trying to Conceive)
• Why Can't I Have a Flower on Mother's Day?
• Talk about it!

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