Preconception Humor

Keeping your sense of humor when you are TTC can be difficult at times. But just like everything else in life, a little laughter can help tremendously. Here are a few bits of humor to keep you and your partner sane during this, uh, trying time. ;-)

• You think you might wet your pants every morning because you can't go to the bathroom until your thermometer beeps.
• Your calendar at work is color coded for the days leading up to ovulation.
• You tell people you work for the FBI because they look at you funny when you use jargon like BBT, TTC, and AF.
• Anyone else would need a decoder to read your fertility chart.
• Suddenly, everyone around you is either pregnant, nursing or with a child
• You've created voodoo dolls for all of the people who've asked, "Are you pregnant yet?"
• You're about as interested in sex as you are in balancing the checkbook.

• You open your briefcase and find a sticky note from your wife that says, "Don't drink any coffee, no cocktails after work, don't stress out and keep your 'boys' cool."
• You're sleeping in front of the fireplace and showering at the gym because your wife turned down the water heater at home and took away your electric blanket.
• You look like someone out of a rap video because your new boxers keep riding up and out of the top of your pants.
• You feel like your wife has an alarm clock in her shorts because every four weeks or so, she comes running out of the bathroom saying, "Drop your pants--it's time!"
• Someone asks you what day it is and you reply, "Cycle day 20."
• You know enough about the workings of the female body to teach a health class at the high school.
• You're about as interested in sex as you are in balancing the checkbook.

If well-known companies offered fertility drugs, would they have to come up with new slogans? We think not...

Shell:
Moving at the speed of life

Flintstones Vitamins:
Ten million strong, and growing

Pepsi:
Generation next

Cotton:
The fabric of our lives

General Electric:
We bring good things to life