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Failing Fatherhood
How Men Handle Infertility
By Gwen Morrison
Dr. Petok attributes the apparent disparity in male and female responses to infertility to the fact that men are not reminded on a monthly basis of their fertility or lack thereof. This may explain why it appears that men may be less sensitive and distressed by their childlessness.
"Why do men seem to lack significant emotion about their diagnosis of male infertility?" says Dr. Petok. "Our culture shields men from developing expectations of their role as a parent. This may account for many men's seeming detachment when they discover that childlessness may be in their future. Additionally, our culture expects men to be strong in the face of adversity and deems emotional responses to events as weak. For men, strength almost requires emotional detachment."
Although men have a different way of showing their emotions over male infertility, the impact of the diagnosis can be huge for men who have mapped out plans for a future with children. "The same issues that confront women are present for men, and both sexes cope with having taken parenthood for granted," says Dr. Petok. "The failure of their procreative body functions is often devastating for men, especially since they are so closely linked with sexuality. Men may consider it an assault on their masculinity if they are the cause for the failure to conceive."
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