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Physician or Friend

Can Your Doctor Be Both?

By Shel Franco

amily physician who also delivers babies.

Let's face it: If you already have a women's health care provider, you probably have some idea of the comfort level you feel when you are in the office and in that doctor's presence. If the vibes are bad, why are you staying? If you aren't sure, one simple statement can tell you a lot.

"I like to have people tell me they are thinking about getting pregnant," says Dr. Fox. "That question opens up doors. If you have a decent relationship with your doctor, that statement should open a huge door."

This wasn't the case for Cindy Hubert of Salt Lake City, Utah. "My doctor just sort of stared at me blankly when I told him I was thinking about trying to conceive," she says. "I clarified by asking if I needed to do anything special to get ready. He seemed totally disinterested. He sort of grunted and shrugged his shoulders and told me to let nature be my guide. It was so weird."

When a patient tells Dr. Fox that she is thinking about pregnancy, he says it causes him to switch gears. That's the perfect time to discuss issues like prenatal vitamins and smoking. "If your doctor won't talk, then maybe that's not the right doctor for you," he says.

Hubert agrees. "I put my conception plans on hold and searched out a doctor who seemed as excited as I was about the prospect of me becoming pregnant," she says. "It took some time and lots of input from friends and acquaintances. I actually left two more practices until I found the right one."

Gone are the days when women are expected to simply take orders from their physicians. Today's birth practitioners expect their patients to be informed and ready to participate. Whether or not that pleases your current physician is key to what you can expect before, during and after pregnancy.

Want to see more?

• Preconception Visits: Working With Your Doctor
• What You Should Know Before You Conceive: iParenting diary writers tell you what they wish they had known
• Ready, Set, Conceive! Preconception Planning for a Healthy Pregnancy
• Talk about it!