The Surrogacy Search

In Their Own Words

Part Two

By Michele St. Martin

Couples who choose to use a surrogate mother to help them realize their dream of becoming parents receive a great gift. But what makes a woman decide to give so very much of herself – and what does she get in return?

Surrogate Lucy describes her relationship with the couple whose son she carried, nurtured and gave birth to in glowing terms. "In time, we became friends, and it seemed when I wasn't looking, somewhere along the way we became family," she says. "In the end, the parents have a wonderful son and a new lifetime of hopes and dreams. I, on the other hand, feel like I got so much more. I have ... a sense of self-worth that few can ever even imagine. Because of me, Lucy – your stereotypical suburban mother – there is a family who lives half way around the world. [They] can now pass down the family name to yet another generation. Without my help, the family name would have died out, because [the parents] were both only children who couldn't have children on their own. I made a difference in a life. How many people can say that?"

The feeling of family goes both ways. Like Lucy and the family for whom she was a surrogate, Lynn and her husband grew close to their surrogate, whom they first met over the Internet. "We were total strangers who met and became an extended family," says Lynn. "Our surrogate and her family are now part of our family, and we expect to remain close to them over the years. We refer to our surrogate as 'Auntie' – as a matter of fact, when I first went back to work, she was our daycare provider for Nichole." Lynn's surrogate is pregnant again, carrying another child for Lynn and her husband.

Want to see more?

• The Surrogacy Search: Starting Out
• Will YOU Have My Baby? A Surrogacy Q&A With Sharon LaMothe
• Adoption: Where Do I Start?
• Talk about it!